OOM: Dinner

[latino_menace]

Ramon is so glad to get out of the museum because there's only so much culture a man can take, especially when you can't draw attention by exhibiting 'inappropriate' behaviour. Dinner's booked at an upmarket resturant a couple of miles away and he's quiet for most of the ride over. Just takes Random's hand in the back of the darkened limo and watches the city go by.

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[latino_menace]

'Mmmn.'

He tries to still, tries to make himself grasp at Random's wrist and pull the hand away because he'd be planning on doing this to him, to show that this was going to be fine and...well, everything. But he just can't bring himself to just yet, because it feels good and he needs it more than he'll ever admit.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

He'll take it as far as Ramon will let him, making soft sounds against his shoulder now and pushing harder with his leg, twisting against him and rubbing in turn because it's too good not to.

"Lover mine."

[latino_menace]

The hands stop aimlessly running over him and find his hips, pressing his body down onto him and pushing up to meet him, giving Random something more solid to rub against. His own hips rock into the touch now, rhythmic and faster, more insistant.

'Mine too.'

She's not getting you. Won't let her take you away.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Yes, yes."

He slides up, thrusting against Ramon's skin, hands clutching him tight. Low sounds are dragged from the back of his throat with each push forwards and he kisses Ramon. Just his lips against him, just brushing contact, a silent message.

Always be yours. No matter what, you have my soul.

[latino_menace]

'Love you,' he gasps out, the awful evening melting away under the power of heat and friction and pleasure. He presses a soft bite to Random's neck, just the slightest pressure, and moans his name into his skin.

He should make him stop so he can calm down and do this properly. He just doesn't know if he can, it's too good.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

He doesn't want him too, either. Just slides lower so he's against him perfectly, and wraps a hand around them both.

He feels like a teenager, fumbling with his boyfriend, desperately and quickly.

"Yes, yes, please come for me, please."

[latino_menace]

That's just perfect and he can't stop himself. It is like being a kid again, unable to wait and just needing to keep touching and nothing matters but that. So he stops trying to hold it back and just lets go, gripping Random tightly and crying out in pleasure as he comes.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Perfect!

Random joins him, the instant he shouts, tensing, hand tightening and then going limp as he slumps against him in pleasure.

He stays against him, just resting, breathing in unison with him.

[latino_menace]

It's a good thing he doesn't want to pull away because Ramon's not planning on letting go of him any time soon. He just holds him, letting himself float back down and not feeling any need to talk. He's not sure there's anything left to really say. Not until tomorrow, when he leaves.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I love you."

He drops his head to Ramon's shoulder, resting there and breathing into his skin. The room is still hot, the air conditioning still noisy, the paint still chipped and the carpet still stained, but it doesn't matter at all.

[latino_menace]

'Good.'

Ramon smiles and strokes through his hair, before kissing his head.

'Love you too.'

He stares at the ceiling, trying to work out if things are better. And comes to the conclusion that...they're much the same. Sex is a good distraction but the weight in his chest is still there, the dread of the next day hasn't gone anywhere.

A little better, maybe. Because Random's in his arms and they can touch each other and that always helps.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Are you losing circulation?"

He shifts to try to make it more comfortable, for the moment, at least.

"Tell me if it gets bad."

Any amount of care he can give, any little thing, it's worth it. He'd do anything for him right now.

[latino_menace]

'No. It's fine.'

He's not. But even if he were, he wouldn't move him. Random lying full against him is something he'll never move away from, it's too comfortable.

'Are you alright?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I'm going to be."

He presses his face closer to Ramon's shoulder.

"Just keep holding me."

[latino_menace]

He does, of course. Random's not leaving his arms tonight.

'Do you have any idea how long you'll be gone?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"As long as it takes. I'm taking drugs, and I'll spike her food too. I'm going to write you with approximate times, okay? Depends on her cycle, I guess. I don't know Rebman biology, but I'll figure it out."

It's disgusting and terrible and he hates even contemplating it. But it needs to be said.

[latino_menace]

And this sort of thing might as well be gotten out of the way now, horrible though it is.

'What sort of drugs? I thought you couldn't take any - shit Random, dont make yourself sick over this.'

And afer a moment's quiet thought, he adds,

'Don't write to me. Please.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Just. I don't think I'll be able to."

He curls closer.

"Have sex with her. And I need to. And I can seduce her and everything but that's not enough. I need to be able to. But I know myself and I know I'll be freaking and so panicked I can hardly breathe, so even if it isn't great, it has to happen, you know?

You don't want me to write?"
(You don't want to talk to me?)

[latino_menace]

'Yeah, I suppose so. Just...'

He pauses, trying to think of what he was going to say.

'...I was going to say just imagine it's me, but I don't know if I want that or not. Might be worse.'

He can't think about Random actually doing it. Just can't. And explaining this next thing will be hard enough.

'If you write...'

Once again, he curses his lack of eloquence.

'...it'll be like having you for a moment and then you'll be gone again. And I'll want to know what you're doing with her but I can't stand to hear it, and it'll just make it worse. Better that you go and...fuck it, I don't know. What do you think? Won't it be worse for you to be reminded of me like that every day? Don't you want to go and keep the charade up and not get distracted?'

It could be that Random'll go and he'll wish he hadn't said that, would give anything to hear from him. But maybe not. He has no idea of what it's going to feel like yet.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I'm not touching her and thinking of you."

He feels sick just thinking about it.

"I'm not doing anything that'll put you even remotely on the same level as you."

His fingers close around Ramon's arm.

"I'm going to write you. I won't send them, maybe, but I need to write you. It at least lets me pretend I've got someone taking care of me. Lets me remember I've got someone to come home to. That no matter how bad it is I'll have someone to go home to, who cares about me."

[latino_menace]

'...pretend you've got someone taking caring of you?'

He isn't sure what to make of that, as though Random's trying to tell him that he's being uncaring by not letting him write. It gets dismissed as paranoia after a moment, but that doesn't mean it's not still in his head.

'And I love you, not just 'care' about you.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"When I talk to you I can almost see you there. Like you're in the room with me. It's why I did so much, remember, when I was in the cell? I just pretend, you know?"

Eyes shut, now, he breathes out sadly.

"Compromise. I'll write you every time she gets her period again and say that it'll be at least another month, alright? But nothing else. Just telling you."

[latino_menace]

'...alright.'

He hates the idea of getting a note and knowing that he'll be without him for another month, but at least it'll give him some idea of when he'll be back, he supposes.

'And let me know you're alright. Just that. That you're not sick or anything, and...holding up. Or if you're not. OK?'

The rest can wait until he's back, he thinks.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Ramon."

He winces, and looks up at him.

"I'm... not really going to be alright, you understand? I'm going to survive, but I can't write you and say I say I'm fine. I'd be lying."

[latino_menace]

'Yeah.'

So you'll write and tell me you're not fine and then I'll worry and you know what, I'm not going to be fine either only I can't write to you so alright, just tell me about all of it and then you'll come back and I'll forget about it and it'll all be OK, really, no honestly, it will, don't worry about it, I'll just pretend you're not fucking someone else and it won't matter that I have to read about how upset you are about not being with me when it was your idea to leave in the first place...

'OK. Write whatever you like then. I'll read them.'