OOM: Home, at night

[latino_menace]

A few hours after this...

It's the middle of the night, not that Ramon's aware of it. He still sits in the chair, his neck at an awkward angle but totally oblivious.

The good thing about Atlantean, is that you're too passed out to dream. If he weren't so gone, he might have ones that he'd rather not have.

But as the night wears on, he does shift a little. He hadn't managed to ingest that much.

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[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

He doesn't move to sit up. But he does make the soft request of "Turn on the lights." Random's not going to let Ramon pull away.

"I'm sorry too. Turn on the light, baby."

[latino_menace]

Why?

He doesn't want to look him in the eye right now. He can feel his expression burning in to his back and he hates it.

But he turns it on anyway. Thinks it doesn't matter, as long as he doesn't look round again. He keeps his back to him as he sits and just smokes quietly.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Random clambers across the bed, sliding carefully around and wrapping legs around his waist, arms around his shoulders, and stealing the cigarette with a weak smile.

"You're going to be alright. Kiss me?"

[latino_menace]

He doesn't try and hold him back, other than a steadying hand on his hip. He also doesn't look at him because...part of him is ashamed of that. And part of him still wants to have him, taking him hard with his body pinned underneath him.

Because that's what happens where he comes from. That's the way Ramon Salazar has always fucked people.

He blinks and looks at the floor, then mumbles,

'I'm sorry.'

And half of him hates himself for apologising too.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to be. This is how things are."

He presses forwards, stealing one long, careful, adamently gentle kiss. He's strong, strong, and loving, and not going to be pinned nor taken. All that's happening tonight is the gentlest of kisses.

"I haven't told you, for you, in weeks, how much I love you, you realize? I do. Shift back on the bed, let me take care of you, lovely thing. Life got away with you for an instant but we are safe and together."

[latino_menace]

He allows the kiss because he knows it'll hurt him if he pulls away. And anyway, it's nice. Nicer than he wants to feel in fact, but that's a pleasant side effect in the end.

He shifts back as instructed, not talking and just looking...sad. because he'd thought he was over forcing himself on people and if Random hadn't said anything when he did and let it carry on a bit longer, he's not sure he would have been able to stop.

Thinking of the possible outcomes of that is enough to make his blood run cold in his veins.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

He moves forwards with him, kissing him again and pushing him back down onto the bed, tracing the pads of his fingers over lines on his face.

"I don't have any way to understand what you've been through."

His mouth slips sideways, touching to Ramon's jaw, words coming out gently against his skin.

"I don't have any way to know what mourning family that close is like."

No one brother of his has he ever shed a tear for. Not even one.

"But I'm here for you and I love you, and no matter how you feel, you'll have me. Now hush, let me be with you for just a minute. There are things we need to remember."

[latino_menace]

He battles the desire to roll over and make Random go with him, to pin him down and finish what had started this. But he doesn't, just lets Random kiss him and touch him, because it's nice and anyway, he's still scared of what could have happened.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Random does it for him, pulling him back, down, curling to his chest and keeping him close. Close.

"I'm so very much in love with you. Hold me close?"

[latino_menace]

His arms go round him on reflex, something he hadn't known he'd remembered but his body obviously does. So yes, he holds him close and it helps. He doesn't say anything but feels some of the tension leave him, seeping out of his muscles and dissapating in the air around them.

For the first time since he walked back through the door, he feels like he might actually be able to do this.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Better, isn't it?"

He kisses the closest bit of skin.

And again, because he can't do it often enough. He's there for him, as much as he needs him.

"Gonna sleep with me?"

[latino_menace]

'Mmmm.' It's a noncommital noise but it does mean, 'Yes, better.' And the strokes once down Random's back and just says,

'Yeah. Sleep,' before reaching up to flick the light off on the bedside table.

If he's honest with himself, part of the touching is so that Random won't question him on anything and because he knows it'll make him feel better just to be held. The other part of him acknowledges that it feels nice too, and he does enjoy it as well.

'I am sorry.' He knows he doesn't sound it. But he is.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I know you are."

He understands, just a little better now that he knows what's happening. What happened to him. What he'd had to do.

"If you wake up, shake me? Important."

He squirms closer, till he can set his head on Ramon's shoulder, sighing out and breathing in his scent gently.

[latino_menace]

This is a sleeping position that he'll never forget, it's been ingrained for over six months now. The familiarity pulls him back to a time when he didn't feel the way he does tonight, and he's thankful for that.

'Alright.'

He doesn't know why it would be important but doesn't want to ask. He just shuts his eyes and tries not to think.

'Night.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Night."

He sighs again, stifles a yawn, then yawns fully as he begins to drift off.

Sleep is better this time. More comfortable.

Everything is, with Ramon holding him again.