OOM: Home again

[latino_menace]

It's been a very boring two nights. And annoying too, in that while he tried to while away the time by reading or finalising things for the business in his head, his brain insisted on making him remember the last time he sat in this cell.

It's not that pleasant. Not claustrophbic, like Random gets. Just uncomfortable with the reminders.

But it's over now and he's in a jaunty mood as he walks free because there's home to go to and all other unpleasant things are locked out of his head until tomorrow. For now, and the rest of the day and night, he's just going to enjoy being with Random.

Comments

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Never."

He's squeezed just a little bit tighter.

"Never ever. Well, whenever you want that reciprocation of yours. Or my basking runs out. Mmm, you make me feel good."

[latino_menace]

'Glad. Want to make you feel good.' He traces lazy lines over the skin of Random's stomach, still aching a bit but content to wait. And feeling strangely sentimental and schmoopy right now.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"You okay?"

That part is vitally important.

"C'mon. Want me on my knees? Or just straight sex now? Up to you. Your welcome home party."

[latino_menace]

'Don't know.' He lifts his head and rests it on his bent elbow instead, though the hand on Random's stomach stays there.

'In a minute. Alright like this for now.'

He fidgets a moment, and then sits up. 'Think I'll get another beer. You want one?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Yes please."

He flops back, opting to kick off his pants instead of pull them up again.

"Even if it means I'm not allowed to hold you any more."

Pout.

[latino_menace]

Ramon gets up and heads to the kitchen, sighing at himself for feeling strange. But it's OK, he'll go back in there and drink a beer and take him and that'll be great.

'Well, there's always later,' is what he says when he returns, handing him his beer. Though it won't happen. It makes him feel too odd and he's filled his quota for the week, he thinks.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Come back here. You can hold me."

He extends his arms, because he just doesn't want to not be touched.

"Do you want to talk about it, baby?"

[latino_menace]

He takes him in his arms gladly, pulling him close and wrapping round him warmly. he hesitates while pressing a kiss to his temple, then says, 'Doesn't matter. It's alright. Lets just stay like this for a minute, then go to bed.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Whatever you like."

And realize that I mean that everywhere.

He sighs, and his body folds comfortably so he can rest his head against Ramon's shoulder, his hair tickling the skin of his neck.

"I love you."

[latino_menace]

'Love you too baby.'

He holds him and sighs and doesn't know what to do, because how does a man like him explain that...never mind.

He kisses his head instead and drinks his beer in silence. He's OK, just...contemplatative, and a little worried.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Whatever you like. Nothing you don't want."

He mumbles it into his skin.

"Kidding, and not going to do that now, because we have five hundred years to try everything but I want you to love me the old-fashioned way tonight."

[latino_menace]

He pulls away sharply, because he hadn't expected him to guess what was on his mind and he's scared damnit, because it isn't right, for him.

So he stands up and paces around a bit, doesn't look at him and just rubs a hand over his face, neck, anything to stop him having to admit what he knows he's going to have to.

Worst reaction to have you idiot! Now you're going to have to explain.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Worst reaction ever because has Random ever been happy about Ramon pulling away from him? Ever?

To his credit he does a very good job of holding still and silent while he paces. Doesn't waver. Doesn't make a sound. Not a crack. He's getting better at knowing when to be still.

[latino_menace]

And yes. That's why it's the worst. Because he never wants to scare Random or upset him...and it's that which drives him to sit down again and pull him close once more.

'Sorry,' he mutters against him. 'You just surprised me.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I've been worrying about it."

He looks up at him, immensely relieved.

"I'm sorry if you weren't, I know it's a bad time but I had to say."

[latino_menace]

'I was.'

Pause.

'Quite a lot.'

Long pause. Sigh.

'Why, what's stressing you about it?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Don't want you to feel like you should, or have to, or need to or anything."

He pulls himself a bit closer. Just a bit.

"I love you. Touch you any way you're like, any way you're comfortable with. And if you keep worrying about not hurting me and not knowing what hurts, and you want me to show you then I'll do that too. But I'm happy here. And I don't want you to think about it now. I want you to tell me what you've decided in a few weeks, and then we'll go from there."

[latino_menace]

'Mmmm.'

He lets the silence rest for a long while, just holding him as tight as he can. And then there's another sigh and he cuddles him even closer.

'Baby...' He stops, breaks off and tries to think of a way to word it. And briefly touches on the fact that damnit, he can't keep any secrets from this man. He supposes it comes from being that comfortable with him that emotions all show too easily.

'...I don't feel like I should, or have to, or need to.'

Pause again.

'I want to.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

For that, he's grabbed, and clung to very tightly. Very tightly, and with Random whispering soft words in his ear.

"Then we'll be together again. Whenever you want me."

An encouragement, a comfort, a promise, he can take it as he likes. But Random's there, loving and waiting.

[latino_menace]

He holds on to him, flushed dark red and glad that Random's not looking at his face right now. He doesn't let go as he says, 'Let me explain a bit or I won't be able to look you in the eye.'

Another frantic search for words.

'I thought you didn't want to. You've always seemed like you didn't. And I didn't know if you were joking and...fuck it, it doesn't matter.'

He lets him go and stares at the floor, horribly embarrassed. Then offers, quietly,

'Never done it before. And you're the only person I'd let...but only if you want to.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Stop being embarassed."

He doesn't have to look up to know that.

"It didn't occur to me that you'd let me. But it's been on my mind since we talked about what you do and if it hurts or not. You've point blank asked me about it half a dozen times, and well, I sort of just shrugged. I was kidding about the sink. We've joked about it before, about what I'm doing tonight and stuff. If I'd known it made you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have."

[latino_menace]

'Doesn't make me uncomfortable. Or it didn't. Only recently that I've thought about it and that's only because you kept holding me and I found I liked it.'

He doesn't look up and can't stop being embarrassed. 'I've been curious but wouldn't have asked. Just sort of came out the other night. And...it's not that...fuck, I don't know. I just never thought of it as me before. Always been in control. I'll probably always like it better. I just want to try.'

And finally, he catches Random's eye. 'Want to know what you feel.' Looks down again. 'Not tonight though. Too embarrassing now.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Christ, not tonight."

He cups Ramon's cheek with a careful, tender hand.

"Not when you're nervous like this. Some day when you're sun soaked and pleasantly drowsy and really, really happy. Because that's how I am when you touch me, and if you aren't, then it just isn't the same."

[latino_menace]

'Some day when I'm completely, off-my-head drunk you mean. Because I'll probably have to be.'

He takes the hand, and kisses the palm softly.

'Feel like an idiot now.' He mumbles it softly and really, it's a sign of how much he loves Random that he can even say that. Because normally he'd brazen out all 'weak' emotions. Just...can't, with him.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Feel like an idiot for wanting to take better care of me?"

Random's lips trace a line across his shoulder, as he one handed pulls his shirt back.

"Well then, I'm the stupidest of them all. But I'm not doing it until you feel good."