OOM: Home again

[latino_menace]

It's been a very boring two nights. And annoying too, in that while he tried to while away the time by reading or finalising things for the business in his head, his brain insisted on making him remember the last time he sat in this cell.

It's not that pleasant. Not claustrophbic, like Random gets. Just uncomfortable with the reminders.

But it's over now and he's in a jaunty mood as he walks free because there's home to go to and all other unpleasant things are locked out of his head until tomorrow. For now, and the rest of the day and night, he's just going to enjoy being with Random.

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[latino_menace]

He pulls away sharply, because he hadn't expected him to guess what was on his mind and he's scared damnit, because it isn't right, for him.

So he stands up and paces around a bit, doesn't look at him and just rubs a hand over his face, neck, anything to stop him having to admit what he knows he's going to have to.

Worst reaction to have you idiot! Now you're going to have to explain.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Worst reaction ever because has Random ever been happy about Ramon pulling away from him? Ever?

To his credit he does a very good job of holding still and silent while he paces. Doesn't waver. Doesn't make a sound. Not a crack. He's getting better at knowing when to be still.

[latino_menace]

And yes. That's why it's the worst. Because he never wants to scare Random or upset him...and it's that which drives him to sit down again and pull him close once more.

'Sorry,' he mutters against him. 'You just surprised me.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I've been worrying about it."

He looks up at him, immensely relieved.

"I'm sorry if you weren't, I know it's a bad time but I had to say."

[latino_menace]

'I was.'

Pause.

'Quite a lot.'

Long pause. Sigh.

'Why, what's stressing you about it?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Don't want you to feel like you should, or have to, or need to or anything."

He pulls himself a bit closer. Just a bit.

"I love you. Touch you any way you're like, any way you're comfortable with. And if you keep worrying about not hurting me and not knowing what hurts, and you want me to show you then I'll do that too. But I'm happy here. And I don't want you to think about it now. I want you to tell me what you've decided in a few weeks, and then we'll go from there."

[latino_menace]

'Mmmm.'

He lets the silence rest for a long while, just holding him as tight as he can. And then there's another sigh and he cuddles him even closer.

'Baby...' He stops, breaks off and tries to think of a way to word it. And briefly touches on the fact that damnit, he can't keep any secrets from this man. He supposes it comes from being that comfortable with him that emotions all show too easily.

'...I don't feel like I should, or have to, or need to.'

Pause again.

'I want to.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

For that, he's grabbed, and clung to very tightly. Very tightly, and with Random whispering soft words in his ear.

"Then we'll be together again. Whenever you want me."

An encouragement, a comfort, a promise, he can take it as he likes. But Random's there, loving and waiting.

[latino_menace]

He holds on to him, flushed dark red and glad that Random's not looking at his face right now. He doesn't let go as he says, 'Let me explain a bit or I won't be able to look you in the eye.'

Another frantic search for words.

'I thought you didn't want to. You've always seemed like you didn't. And I didn't know if you were joking and...fuck it, it doesn't matter.'

He lets him go and stares at the floor, horribly embarrassed. Then offers, quietly,

'Never done it before. And you're the only person I'd let...but only if you want to.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Stop being embarassed."

He doesn't have to look up to know that.

"It didn't occur to me that you'd let me. But it's been on my mind since we talked about what you do and if it hurts or not. You've point blank asked me about it half a dozen times, and well, I sort of just shrugged. I was kidding about the sink. We've joked about it before, about what I'm doing tonight and stuff. If I'd known it made you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have."

[latino_menace]

'Doesn't make me uncomfortable. Or it didn't. Only recently that I've thought about it and that's only because you kept holding me and I found I liked it.'

He doesn't look up and can't stop being embarrassed. 'I've been curious but wouldn't have asked. Just sort of came out the other night. And...it's not that...fuck, I don't know. I just never thought of it as me before. Always been in control. I'll probably always like it better. I just want to try.'

And finally, he catches Random's eye. 'Want to know what you feel.' Looks down again. 'Not tonight though. Too embarrassing now.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Christ, not tonight."

He cups Ramon's cheek with a careful, tender hand.

"Not when you're nervous like this. Some day when you're sun soaked and pleasantly drowsy and really, really happy. Because that's how I am when you touch me, and if you aren't, then it just isn't the same."

[latino_menace]

'Some day when I'm completely, off-my-head drunk you mean. Because I'll probably have to be.'

He takes the hand, and kisses the palm softly.

'Feel like an idiot now.' He mumbles it softly and really, it's a sign of how much he loves Random that he can even say that. Because normally he'd brazen out all 'weak' emotions. Just...can't, with him.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Feel like an idiot for wanting to take better care of me?"

Random's lips trace a line across his shoulder, as he one handed pulls his shirt back.

"Well then, I'm the stupidest of them all. But I'm not doing it until you feel good."

[latino_menace]

He sighs quietly and leans, resting his head against him.

'You're not stupid. And I feel like an idiot for wanting to do it at all. And I feel stupid for feeling stupid about it.'

There's a quiet pause and then he adds, 'But I love you. And I do want you to. Nothing of mine I don't want to let you have.' His eyes flick up to him, suddenly amused. 'Besides, it has to feel good, right? The amount you scream, can't be a bad thing.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"The real reason I haven't bothered you to bottom."

He smirks into Ramon's shoulder, then turns his face so he can see that he's joking. Just in case.

"I don't want you to know that your job is much harder and much less rewarding."

[latino_menace]

He gets a gentle thwap on the arm for that...but a hand running through his hair as well.

'Ohhh, but you don't know how good you feel...' Grin. 'I'm happy with it. And with that in mind, why don't we go to bed? I think I need to show you that my job is well worth it - and anyway, you made me a promise.'

He feels better about it all now actually. At least he doesn't have to worry about it quietly any more. And he can psych himself up for it.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Random laughs, and winds arms around his shoulders with a laugh.

"That so? Well, I concur. Lets go feel good with eachother a bit. Take me to bed, lover mine."

He hadn't been letting it bother him overly much. But now that it's out, yes, it feels better.

[latino_menace]

Ramon had had two nights to stew on it, which is probably why he's being a big emo boy about it now. For the time being, he lets it go. He'll only panic when the time comes.

His arms go round his waist and he kisses him. 'You going to let go of me so I can walk? Or do I need to carry you up there like a caveman to reassert my masculinity?'

Heh. Emo boy.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"You need to carry me like a caveman?"

He rolls his eyes.

"Does that come with sound effects? If so I'm most definitely walking, lover. I've never gone for the 'macho' type."

[latino_menace]

That makes him pause and a curious frown land on his face.

'You don't think I'm macho?'

He's really just curious - but surprised too. He'd always thought of himself as pretty masculine. All the fighting and murdering probably.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Masculina and manly and perfect."

He wrinkles his nose. What they have here is a term confusion.

"Not like Ahnold Schwarzeneggar. Which is good because frankly that man worries me."

[latino_menace]

Ramon laughs and relaxes, then shifts to kiss his throat. 'You worry? Keeps you awake at night does he? Mmmm, think I'll have to see what I can do about that.'

Random always seems to be able to cheer him up and pull him out of a dark mood. Now Ramon just wants him.

'Now can we go to bed? Please baby?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

Random knows his lover. His lover knows him. And the grin he's giving him means Bed. Now.

"What I've been saying all along. C'mon."

On his feet, tugging Ramon up after him to head for the stairs.

[latino_menace]

That particular grin is mirrored right back at him and Ramon jumps up and follows quickly. When they get to the top he catches up with Random and slides arms round his waist to pull him back against him and bite into his shoulder lightly.

Then he's released with a whack to his butt and Ramon runs into the bathroom with a mad cackle, to escape any possible retribution there might be.