OOM: Bogotá, post Maria

[latino_menace]

Perhaps it wasn't really the manly thing, letting Fi deal with getting her out. Under normal circumstances, he'd just give her a smack and be done with it. But isn't shock bad for unborn kids? He doesn't know and he's still struggling with mixed emotions about the baby - on one hand, he wishes it had never happened. But on the other...it has. And it's going to be born now, no matter what so shouldn't he start getting used to the idea?

None of this is easy. He's glad of the half-minute or so that Fi is out of the room because it gives him just a little space to breathe and think about what he's going to say, if he has to say anything. He really had no idea she'd show up here.

When Fi comes back, she'll find him sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, smoking a cigarette and staring at nothing in particular.

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[justcallmefee]

Fiona's body may be back in the room but her head and her heart are still in motion.

There has to be a bottle of whiskey, tequila, something in here. She finds the drink tray, and pulls up bottles, one after another, her eyes unable to focus on the labels. She just has to catch her breath.

You can't hurt my son.

She finds the whiskey, some name she doesn't recognise, but it doesn't matter.

I think maybe I should come and live here. Keep you safe.

A cut crystal bucket. No ice. No ice. No ice. She vapor locks on that fact for a few moments.


A short, harsh sound erupts from her chest, half laugh, half sob.

"I can't seem to get a clear shot at you, can I?"

She tosses the glass aside and drinks from the bottle, a long series of swallows. Eventually she breaks, coughing at the burn in her sinuses. That must be why her eyes are watering.

[latino_menace]

He watches her silently, aware that she's probably about to explode. But when she speaks, it's nothing like what he was expecting and he has to pause a few moments more to find a response.

'I thought you already had one. I thought we were together already, in your time.'

Which raises a question that he's never actually considered before - what is she doing here?

He'd assumed it was because he was hot. And because she was curious to see what he was like when he was young. Now it occurs to him that there might be something more to it but he has no idea what that might be.

[justcallmefee]

One hand rests on the wall and she sags. She doesn't answer for a long time. They are together. (He wants you, but he doesn't love you.)

What is she doing here? (Michael might still love you, but he doesn't want you.) Why does this matter so much to her?


"It's complicated.". The heel of her hand scrubs at her eyes.



She wants to run. There's no where far enough to escape this.

Don't hurt my son.

[latino_menace]

'Then explain.'

It's not said unkindly. But he is curious - about what they have going on and also, what he's like when she knows him. The few things she, and others, have said, he doesn't sound so different to how he is now.

Which might be an explanation in itself, he supposes.

[justcallmefee]

Explain? About Random? About the next thirty years of his life? Tell him he killed his own brother and that he's on the run from the entire US military?

"I can't."

Can't or won't?

"You have to live your life first. I just wanted you..." She's shaking now, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I just wanted you all to myself. Just for one fucking night."

[latino_menace]

He doesn't stop watching her and, eventually, stands and walks over.

'You do. Maria doesn't mean anything to me.'

Less than nothing.

'But I still don't understand. If we're together like you said we are, why don't yourself?'

He is reminded of something he's been trying to forget and almost doesn't say anything. But he has to know now.

'Does it have anything to do with the man in the photographs? In my room at the bar.'

Beat.

'His room.'

[justcallmefee]

She looks up into his face, her eyes wide, hurting. She can't get away from Random, even here. It's not fair.

"Yeah. It does."

"And she may not mean anything to you, but your son. Ramon, love him with all your heart. Whatever else you do, love him."

Her voice is ragged now, broken and small.

[latino_menace]

He put his arms around her. It seems like the thing to do.

'It is a boy, then?'

Good to know. He's not prepared to give in to love but he's not against the idea either. He doesn't know what he's going to feel.

He doesn't know what to think about the news of this mysterious man, either. Best to ignore it. He doesn't want to know...not tonight, at least.

'Maria wants money. And status. She got pregnant on purpose. I only fucked her twice.

Well, two different nights. And I don't want to marry her. I'd rather kill her than marry her.'

[justcallmefee]

"That's not how it's supposed to be."

His arms go around her shoulders and he pulls her back against his chest. He feels so young, but that doesn't keep her from laying her head back on his shoulder. Her hands come to rest on his forearms, caressing him, touching him like he's going to evaporate into thin air.

Her voice barely has enough breath to be heard, and he can feel her tears falling on his skin. "Supposed to love the one you marry. The mother of your children. God, why does it always have to be so fucking complicated?"

[latino_menace]

'My father said I should. A strong recommendation. It makes sense, for the business.'

He's never loved anyone. He doesn't know what love feels like. So he figured he might as well.

Nothing's complicated for him. If you don't love and your work is your life, you've got it made.

But tonight has been complicated. He can see her point.

'I don't know how things like this are supposed to be.'

[justcallmefee]

She turns in his arms, and looks up into his face. He looks as lost as he sounds. Her hands find his face, her thumbs tracing along his cheekbones.

"It's supposed to be like this," she breathes, leaning in to brush her lips over his.

"Just. Like. This."

[latino_menace]

He's not sure what that means either but he's not going to analyse it because whatever the hell is going on, it feels good. So he kisses her back, deepening it after a moment, trying to block out the feel of his fiance's hand on his face.

'You feel better than she does,' he murmurs eventually, looking down at the floor.

But he doesn't know if that is love. He just wants things to go back to the way they were before. He wants to be free again.

[justcallmefee]

She doesn't let him look away, her hands moving on his skin. Her eyes are still wet with tears, and she brushes his hair back from his face.

"That's because I love you, Caro. And right now, your love is all I want in this world. I know you don't know me, I'm not even sure if you know what love is or if you believe in it. But right now, here, you're all I need. Your touch and your mouth and your wild heart."

[latino_menace]

He's not sure what he can say to that. And then he figures he doesn't have to say anything because she just wants him to touch her and that's good, that's fine, he can do that.

His hand runs down her arm and takes hers, leads her back to the bed. This bit is easy and he's so sick of thinking about Maria, he's glad of the chance to put her from his head.

[justcallmefee]

She lets him lead her, her gaze never leaving his, never letting him look away.

He reaches the bed and turns, and she's in his arms.

"Can I call you 'Caro'? Is that okay?"

[latino_menace]

'I don't mind.'

He sits down on the bed, weary.

...but not that weary, because he's not done with her yet.

'You're not like any woman I've met before.'

[justcallmefee]

That gets a little laugh out of her, and there's a glitter of wildness in her eyes. Her voice is still quiet, tinged with disbelief.

"I've been telling you that since the day we met, and only now do you believe me?" She kneels up on the bed beside him, hands pulling him down until they're laying face to face, legs entangled.

"I'm sorry. That's not fair, I know."

She looks down at his chest.

"But it's been almost a year, between us. And he can't -- he doesn't -- I can feel it in his hands. I can feel it in your hands."

[latino_menace]

'Can't what?'

He doesn't know what he's doing with his hands. He just does what he likes.

[justcallmefee]

There's a long pause as she draws in a long breath and lets it out slowly.

"He doesn't say -- that he loves me."

She can't bring herself to say it. (He doesn't love you.)

"But the way you make me feel, there's no other way to describe it. It's not just -- for fun. It feels like so much more than that. Does that make sense?"

[latino_menace]

'Not really.'

He knows that under normal circumstances, he'd never allow this conversation to happen. But it has not been a normal night and she is not a normal woman.

'I can't tell you what I feel in thirty years time. I can only tell you what I think now. And that's that there can be a middle ground. Something can be more than just for kicks but doesn't have to be love. Love like the way you feel, I mean.'

He's had a couple of girlfriends that were more than just sex. He got bored with the restriction so dumped them, but that doesn't mean he didn't miss them afterwards, a little.

'That's probably not what you want to hear.'

[justcallmefee]

"It's -- Ramon." She looks up into his face, and her fingertips cover his lips, just barely touching his skin. "I'm not an idiot. I know the difference."

She leans in to kiss him again, like she could make him understand without speaking a word. He's nineteen. She's forty two.

"I can feel it when you touch me."

[latino_menace]

He looks at her, not knowing what to say. How does a guy respond to that?

Eventually,

'I don't know, then. I don't know how I'll feel about you in the future.'

And he hardly knows her now though he can definitely see why he'd want to be with her.

'Will I remember tonight? When you go back and see me. Is that how it's working?'

[justcallmefee]

She gives a tiny nod, the lines around her eyes deep and sharp. She never wanted him to see her as weak and tonight, she threw that all out the window.

She catches his hand between hers and brings it to her cheek, gently nuzzling, breathing his skin. She feels it in this man's touch, and that's what she was trying to tell him. He knows her in ways that she can't explain in words.

"Do you want me to go?"

[latino_menace]

'No, of course not.'

He strokes the pad of his thumb along her cheekbone in an absent gesture, thinking. How does he want to remember this? Does it even matter?

He's too tired to think about it. So he does the only thing he can think of - the thing he really wants to do - and shifts so he's above her, keeping their legs entwined and pressing against her.

'I said all night, didn't I?'

[justcallmefee]

She gasps and arches beneath him, her grip tightening on him. Desire flares like white phosoporus in water, burning in her skin, down to her very bones. Her hands pull him down for a searing kiss, and she opens for him, breath and body. Nothing else matters, she tells herself, not Maria, not Random, not Michael.

Just this.