OOM: Decisions

[latino_menace]

It's been hours since Random's quiet message. Hours. And he'd said nothing more than he was going to the studio for a while and not to wait up. That was almost a full day ago and there's been nothing since. Ramon's regretting the promise he made to stay away from there. Just a little, but still. He knows he got that place for Random alone but that's not the point. He's worried.

There's nothing he can do but wait. So now he's sitting on the sofa in near-darkness, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. Random has to come home sometime.

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[latino_menace]

He does, carefully, laying Random down and unfastening his jeans, pulling them off easily. The rest can stay and he lies down next to him again, leaning on an elbow and looking down at his face.

'Nothing that'll make you see things. Just a valium. It'll relax you and I think you need it.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"Still not a good idea."

Amberites react strangely to a lot of things, and right now he just wants to lie still and breathe.

A tear or two sneaks out.

[latino_menace]

'OK.'

He won't push it. He just wipes the tears away with a gentle brush of his thumb, and asks quietly,

'Where did all this come from? Or don't you want to talk about it?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"A little while ago I promised him you'd stay away. That I'd keep you away."

He closes his eyes, because it doesn't matter now.

"Because you made him too angry and apparently, I couldn't do it. Something with a five dollar bill, got his hackles up and it was one too many promises broken on my part."

[latino_menace]

...and that changes everything. Ramon stops looking at Random as though he's an crying child that needs to be held until the nightmare goes away, and starts looking more like someone who's just realised that they're the cause of this pain.

'...oh.'

He doesn't know exactly what he should say to that. Well, that's not quite true. He knows what he should say. But it's...complicated.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I'm so sorry."

He's talking to Martin, who he knows can't hear him, but he needs to say it anyways, and hides his face in the pillows.

He's talking to Ramon, who can, and shouldn't have been put in this situation, who shouldn't have to watch who he is and what he does because Random screwed up his own kid so badly.

[latino_menace]

Ramon closes his eyes and exhales slowly, before laying a hand on Random's shoulder.

'Don't say that.'

I threw five bucks at him because that's all he's worth to me.

He pulls him into a proper embrace, wishing that he felt something good towards Martin, if only to make Random happy.

'You've done nothing wrong. I should have just stayed away from him.'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

"I promised him you would."

Tears seep through the fabric of Ramon's shirt, and Random can't breathe.

"It's too late.

It's over."

[latino_menace]

'Then it's my fault, not yours.'

And it is. He knows it, Random should too.

'I'm sorry, baby.'

It sounds like a useless thing to say. He lays a kiss on the top of his head and strokes through his hair, his mind already made up.

'Maybe it's not too late. Will you be alright here on your own for a while?'

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

He nods, a little, and lets his fingers curl and clutch at the sheets.

Oh God.

[latino_menace]

'I won't be long. Promise I won't, and if you need me, use your card.'

He knows he should stay, that Random probably won't be alright on his own. But it'll be worse if he can't at least try to get Martin to change his mind.

'There's something I have to do. Try to sleep.'

He gets up quickly, before he can change his mind. He doesn't like leaving Random like this, so he turns away to pull some more clothes on. He'll be as quick as he can.

[underwater-owl.livejournal.com]

He won't sleep tonight.


Not for a long while yet, at least.

Just lie still, except for when he's crying, and try not to feel this alone.

Finally drifting off, into the blessed oblivion of sleep.