Ramon Salazar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
latino_menace) wrote2006-03-20 02:05 am
latino_menace) wrote2006-03-20 02:05 am
(no subject)
Following this...
Ramon bursts through the door to Haven, rather white-faced, resisting the urge to shake a bit and in desperate need of a drink. He doesn't stop to look around, just riffles through cupboards for strong alcohol and proceeds to glug brandy straight from the bottle.
And then, head? Meet table. Bang repeatedly.
Ramon bursts through the door to Haven, rather white-faced, resisting the urge to shake a bit and in desperate need of a drink. He doesn't stop to look around, just riffles through cupboards for strong alcohol and proceeds to glug brandy straight from the bottle.
And then, head? Meet table. Bang repeatedly.
no subject
That's his reasoning. And it's perfect.
"Last I checked, you weren't in his bed. You were in mine. And the fact that you bring back stuffed teddy-esque rabbits for my infant son? That's what I want. That you do, because you know it'll just make me smile. Even a little. And that you don't antagonize Julian, and last I checked, you didn't even mind it all that much either. That's what I want.
You're there. Believe me. You're there."
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'I do love you. Never loved anyone like this before so I'm not surprised if I suck at it. Do a good job of pretending that I know what I'm doing, but I don't. At all.'
It's easier to say if he doesn't have to look at him.
'I'm trying though. And I'll keep going because I just want you to be happy, alright?'
And he'll still try to find ways to prove that he loves him. For him, proof is necessary for it to be real. He doesn't trust that Random will just understand without something to show for it.
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He closes his eyes, with a smile.
"You never know what you're doing. I still don't. I'm not planning on figuring it out, either. Trusting the other person to help you muddle through it is important.
But I know you love me. I've got a jaguars tooth to show for it, after all."
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It's barely above a whisper as he hangs on to him. But it's better. He'd forgotten the tooth.
Not the paperclip though. He'll never forget that. And he reaches into his pocket now and brings it out, showing Random that he's still got it and isn't afraid of what it means.
'I'm going to get some mahogany and mount it into it, put it on a chain or something. I don't want to lose it.'
And mahogany was the colour of love in his soul, though he won't remind Random of that if he doesn't remember.
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"Sometimes, I imagine I could touch the very being of you. I thought about it a lot while you were away."
He remembers.
"About seeing that- us- upon you and thinking it was beautiful."
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'I think you already have,' he says quietly. Because he's thought about this too, several times and mainly when he's thought that he might lose him. 'Can't stand the thought of being without you.'
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He kisses him.
"And that you won't stop trying. If he's as smart as I think he is, he'll know that's enough."
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'Alright. It's not about what he thinks though. Its about you. And if you think its enough, then OK.'
He won't stop trying to do better. Maybe that is what love is.
'Come to bed? Just want to hold you.'
Maybe that he can sit here and say this stuff without being embarrassed is progress, he thinks.
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A drowsy evening in bed will be perfect, he imagines, so Ramon's hand is taken as Random stands.
"Lets go."
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'Didn't mean to unload on you like that.'
He leans in and steals one more kiss.
'Thank you.'
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"And I'll do the same on you. Now lets get to bed. I'm exhausted."
Can't help but yawn.
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'Bed then.'
And he leads him upstairs, to keep him close all night because that's just another way of showing him that he's not going anywhere, ever.
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