latino_menace: (Bzuh?)
[personal profile] latino_menace
Ramon, as promised, has waited up for Random. He's in bed and reading but still very much awake.

Which is good, because when Random staggers in it looks like he needs someone to talk to. Desperately.

'Baby?'

Date: 2005-12-31 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
Talking may be a bit beyond him.

Instead, it's a graceless stagger, a trip into Ramon's lap, a soft bitter sound into the sheets, shaking shoulders, and clutching hands.

Date: 2005-12-31 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
Random is more than a little drunk.

It shows.

His movements are strangely graceless, somehow stilted, and he's pulling him closer with more force than he should because he can't keep track of things or anything and just knows he wants Ramon to hold him.

Date: 2005-12-31 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"'s Martin."

He doesn't let go. Can't bring himself to.

"Ramon I hate it and I can't."

Date: 2005-12-31 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"'s all of it."

There's a short laugh, perilously close to a sob.

"'m not a father. Not supposed to be. Can't be. Can't, Ramon. Hurt him again."

Date: 2005-12-31 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Nooo."

Listless hands push at Ramon's.

"No. I hurt him. Did to him. Gave him 'tlantean and his blood thinned and cuts started bleeding and I can't be like my father."

Date: 2005-12-31 06:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"More than that."

There's a short laugh.

"Not enough to drive me to this, just normal things like that? Got to explain everything to him. 'bout you and Asandir and you and Arithon and everything."

Date: 2005-12-31 06:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
He's too out of it to interpret body language, but he'd cry if he could.

In fact, he's starting to cry even though he doesn't. Bitter, and tired, and still holding on to Ramon like he's going to drown.

Date: 2005-12-31 06:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Not worth it."

He doesn't stop. Can't seem to swallow it just once more Random once more fuck you've done better than this you don't need to crumble just once more this time.

"He accepts that it's my choice. Even if torture doesn't... I mean... can't ask him to..."

Random trails off with another set of tears.

Date: 2005-12-31 07:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"I know."

He stills, momentarily, and glances up, open and unguarded.

"I weep for the scars of maybe and never. Now. Fuck, I need a cigarette."

And yes, there's guilt in the back of his throat, enough to make him sick to his stomach, and yes, he's drunk enough that he can hardly keep upright but those are both pushed aside. He's also exhausted, drained, and sticky with his son's blood again.

But if there's one thing Random can do, it's accept that things can't always be alright. Tears are pushed out of his eyes, and the moment of weakness is pushed aside with shaking breaths.

Date: 2005-12-31 07:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Don't let me drop this."

He's oddly lucid, it seems. Because he recognizes that his hand is shaking rapidly enough that that part will be a problem.

"Don't want to set the bed on fire."

At the same time, he's far gone enough that he considers it his prerogative to ignore whatever he should so choose.

Date: 2005-12-31 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
After what seems like a very short time to Random, but probably isn't, he offers the cigarette back to Ramon with a watery smile.

"Sorry baby. Didn't need this, I bet. Not very fair of me to promise sex and then come through all wobbly."

Date: 2006-01-01 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Sorry for not listening, then."

He pulls himself up, settling against Ramon. Yes, he's still wearing boots. No, he can't bring himself to care.

"For all of it."

Date: 2006-01-01 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"I like apologizing to you."

There's a half amused drunken grab for the kleenex box on the dresser.

"I know you'll forgive me. Christ, I don't deserve you, you know that?"

Date: 2006-01-01 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
He's too drunk to deal with that right now.

Wiping his face quickly with the kleenex, and curling up, partially to be closer to Ramon, partially to fumble with his boots.

"But you don't. 'm gonna apologize 'gain in the morning. Don't need my shit. Don't need it."

Date: 2006-01-01 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
He raises one foot with a rather sickeningly tipsy giggle. There's very little actual amusement in it.

"We're good a' putting eachother back together. 's because I love you so much. 'n you love me. So glad I saw that, baby, so glad."

Date: 2006-01-01 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"No."

And he's even right.

"No, things are going to be very bad for a little bit."

It's said with the conviction of a drunk. And, you know, a Tarot Reader.

"You might hate me, a little. It scares me, baby."

Date: 2006-01-01 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Then I'll hate myself?"

Another drunken laugh, and his hands reach for Ramon, possibly fouling the ones working on his shirt, but it doesn't matter.

"God, hold me. 'm being ridiculous. Having a fucking anxiety attack."

Date: 2006-01-01 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"I love you."

He smiles up at him, then lets his head drop.

"That'll do. Martin and I need to stop getting drunk. Never leads to good things."

Date: 2006-01-01 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Properly. Um."

He thinks, for a long moment.

"Had to explain to him 'bout Asandir. Figured it was as good a time as any to tell him all of it. He's so much a doctor he reacted so terribly. Said he won'come for dinner any more ever, and that he doesn't want to speak to you. He was pretty dazed. Drunk as anything. And then he was bleeding everywhere an' I had to call for Svava."

By the end of it his face is burried in Ramon's chest.

Date: 2006-01-01 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Don't, love."

He holds on, for a moment.

"Please, in the morning. I need to sleep or 'm gonna... well, no. 'm already gonna be hungover as fuck."

Date: 2006-01-01 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Ever tried to fix something broken from the very beginning?"

His eyes are closing, and he's pulling Ramon closer.

"What Gorlim said about me. Something crooked in the foundations. Building up layers of slight tilts to make it look straighter but it doesn't work."

Date: 2006-01-01 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"Well, no."

He's too tired for this.

"I said t'about something else, 'n he said 'like you.' What I meant was this with Martin. 'm not crooked. Just a perfectly normal Amberite."

Date: 2006-01-01 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] underwater-owl.livejournal.com
"You too. Careful, though. The tooth's in jeans pockets, an' don't want it to fall out." yawn "Remind me in the morning?"

And he is, for all intents and purposes, out cold.

Profile

latino_menace: (Default)
Ramon Salazar

September 2010

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12 131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 13th, 2025 04:53 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios