He takes a breath and tries to explain. 'Random...'
And this is stuff he's never really wanted to have to spell out. Only - it's kind of important that he does, he thinks. Because even if it's not something that Random worries about - he does.
He wraps his arms round him and looks into his face so that he can see he's not hiding anything. 'I know what I'm like Random. I know I'll never hurt you - but I have in the past, with others. You know I have. You know I've raped people. And because you know that - I don't ever want to get carried away one time and take control properly, without making sure you're OK with it...in case you start to doubt. You understand what I mean? It's all very well for me to rip your clothes off and take you hard, but most of the time I'll be wondering whether you think I've given you enough choice. I worry that you think I might not stop if you ask me to. If you didn't know about my past, then I wouldn't think about it so much - but you do.'
He sighs again and tucks some stray blonde hairs behind his ear. 'And I've got carried away with people before. Look at what I did to Roy. Could have killed him.' He lays a soft kiss to his lips, hoping he hasn't ruined anything. 'I don't want that to be you.'
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2005-12-18 11:16 pm (UTC)And this is stuff he's never really wanted to have to spell out. Only - it's kind of important that he does, he thinks. Because even if it's not something that Random worries about - he does.
He wraps his arms round him and looks into his face so that he can see he's not hiding anything. 'I know what I'm like Random. I know I'll never hurt you - but I have in the past, with others. You know I have. You know I've raped people. And because you know that - I don't ever want to get carried away one time and take control properly, without making sure you're OK with it...in case you start to doubt. You understand what I mean? It's all very well for me to rip your clothes off and take you hard, but most of the time I'll be wondering whether you think I've given you enough choice. I worry that you think I might not stop if you ask me to. If you didn't know about my past, then I wouldn't think about it so much - but you do.'
He sighs again and tucks some stray blonde hairs behind his ear. 'And I've got carried away with people before. Look at what I did to Roy. Could have killed him.' He lays a soft kiss to his lips, hoping he hasn't ruined anything. 'I don't want that to be you.'