'I lost three others too, you don't seem worried about saving them.'

He shoves his hands in his pockets now and looks away.

'I could lose you. And Random. And Arithon. My extended life. My business, my reputation, my home. My life. Saving him might mean I get killed along the way, without my base and security to keep things calm. I might be nothing.'

He can't let himself think about risking it. He knows the pain of what happened to his son, he's lived with it for twenty five years. But he doesn't know what would happen if he changed it, and doesn't even know if he can.