"I'm not touching her and thinking of you."

He feels sick just thinking about it.

"I'm not doing anything that'll put you even remotely on the same level as you."

His fingers close around Ramon's arm.

"I'm going to write you. I won't send them, maybe, but I need to write you. It at least lets me pretend I've got someone taking care of me. Lets me remember I've got someone to come home to. That no matter how bad it is I'll have someone to go home to, who cares about me."