'I wanted to.' It's not so hard to admit. If he hadn't promised Random he wouldn't, he would have.

His fingers tangle in Random's hair, as usual.

'Don't worry about it. Christ, you should never have been in that position in the first place. Should have just let me have it. I'd have deserved it for putting you through it.'

And he tries to make sure that Random never feels anything like it again. Doesn't always succeed, but tries.