latino_menace | OOM: Another visit

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OOM: Another visit

Ramon's a bit nervous about this visit. Not only because of the conversation with Dworkin, but the 'little visitor' that had been promised in the last letter. Still, he gets to see Random again and that's worth anything.

So, here he his. Late at night, tired but happy with anticipation. He can't keep his mind off the Trump in his pocket.

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"Well, I'll end up on the losing side of a war. Or I'll fall defending Amber. Or I'll get back into politics and be assassinated...
Hell, might even crash Jabberwock one day. Something dangerous, something I lived with knowing it was dangerous, and something that ultimately ends things. It might be a brother."

He considers, calmly.

"It'll probably be a brother. Our games bring out the best and the worst and are the very brightest sort of candles for us moths. That'll probably be what kills me. Though I am an awfully good gambler."

Ramon says nothing for a moment. Then he just carefully pulls Random to him, folding arms around him.

'I don't want to talk about this anymore.'

He seriously doesn't.

"Sorry."

He tucks against his chest.

"I'm not going to forget, though. I promise. Hundreds and hundreds of photos. I kept the one you didn't like, I'm sorry. But you're so lovely when you sleep."

'Didn't say I didn't like it. Just didn't like you taking it without my knowing.'

He murmurs it into his hair, strangely washed out and tired by this whole thing. There's a small smile though and he tucks a bit of stray hair behind Random's ear.

'I don't want you to forget.' Wasn't that one of his old worries, that Random would move on after his death and then forget about him entirely? 'And you know, thinking that you'll probably get killed before you get that old isn't much of a comfort.'

"Something has to end it, Ramon."

He keeps his eyes closed, not through fear, nor denial, just quiet knowledge.

"It won't be my own body, and I'd rather it wasn't my own hand. If things last too long and the lives in the universe around me all go out, it will have to be. Forgive me, but I hope not."

He stays quiet, just holds him close. This subject always depresses him.

'Don't want to think about it.' But before he can stop himself, he blurts out, 'He said you'll duck questions because you're forgetting already. Like if I ask you things then you'll unravel and come apart.'

"Oh."

He leans into him, now seeking comfort.

"Are you going to ask?"

'Do you want me to?' he asks uneasily. He doesn't want to ask if it's going to make him react like Dworkin said it would.

'I've asked things before and it's not been a problem.'

That he can remember anyway.

"I've lied."

He says it softly.

"Not recently. Not for months. But I've had to lie. I'm not perfect. But the important things, I don't forget. Ever. Ever."

He kind of feels like he's been punched in the stomach.

'So I've asked you things and you've made up the answers? Because you've forgotten?'

"Not since before your curse."

He's kinda, like Dworkin said, unravelling.

"You can't imagine how embarassing..."

Well, that's a little better. He can handle that, it was months ago and he barely remembers things himself, from then.

But still, this is worrying. Random is...shit, he didn't want this.

'...what? What's embarrassing?'

"To not know something like that. To not remember where you learned to speak French. No idea."

He lies to acquaintances. He lies to strangers. He lies to friends if he thinks it will do them well.

He never, never lies to Ramon, not if he can help it. He has yet to lie to Martin. There are some limits you don't push.

He can't comprehend that. No part of it. How would you forget where you learnt an entire new language? He just can't think in that span of time yet.

'Oh.'

Ramon doesn't know what to say but his blood runs a little cold. This worries him more than he cares to admit.

"Hasn't changed anything, baby."

He looks up at him, again.

"You know that. I'm still your lover, I'm still a loving father. I still remember the look on your face when I choked on my scotch the first time we meet. I still remember the layout of your house in Columbia. I still remember being a child, most of it.

I still remember so much. One day, I need to show you through the other photos. The ones from before I knew you. I've had the richest life you could dream of, babe. Some things are just more important than others."

'Yeah.'

That helps actually. Because it's normal, right? Even humans tend to recall the highlights and forget the mundane.

He leans down and kisses him gently. 'I love you. I just worry about what'll happen to you after I'm gone. I know it's - hopefully - ages away but I can't stop myself. And I really don't want to get lost like Dworkin has.'

He can't stand that thought. Because that's just not Random. This is him, now, gorgeous and alive - not some wreck of a old man that can hardly complete a sentence.

'I'd like to see the photo's though. I'd like to see all the things you've done. You must have seen some interesting shadows.'

"The best, the brightest, and I'll take you to all of them."

Random doesn't worry about it. Worrying about it would drive him there faster.

"You'll see. It'll be wonderful. We'll have sex in each and every one."

Ramon grins and finally relaxes a bit, kissing him again.

'I'm glad to hear it. Every new shadow should be christened.'

There's a glance over to the baby and the smile broadens.

'Think when he's older he'll roll his eyes at us for kissing in front of him?'

"You know he will. And probably go 'eeeeew' at a certain point. Kids hate kissing."

Random looks, then glances back up at Ramon, looking proud.

"He'll get used to it."

'He won't have a choice will he?' he asks lightly, laying another gentle kiss on his head.

'I certainly hope you're not going to refuse to kiss me if he's around.'

Because that would be horrid.

"Don't think it'd be physically possible."

He makes a face, showing just what he thinks of the idea.

"No. Don't worry about that. And don't worry about my grandfather, he's a manipulative shit. Or about anything, not tonight. Tonight, just the three of us, and that's all we need, for now."

He shifts down the bed, lying more flat for comfort's sake but trying to keep Random near at the same time.

'I'll try not to. Probably be alright if he doesn't come near me again.'

The three of them. Almost like a family. It's a bizarre thought. The baby is watched quietly from his position on the bed.

"Let me get rid of my jeans. Otherwise I'm going to fall asleep like this."

This is one of those things that should be done, but Random can't quite bring himself to actually do.

"C'mon lover."

'Mmm.'

He lies still for a moment, trying to muster the energy to move. Then he does, eventually, and drags himself up off the bed with a groan.

'Up then. You look tired again.'

Ramon strips and climbs in, to set a good example. There's a nod towards Martin. 'Is he down for the night now?'

"Set the alarm for midnight. He'll need to be fed, then, but other than that, we're okay."

Midnight feedings are important. Even if the baby sometimes needs to be woken up for them. Random sheds his clothing, then reaches for the clock himself.

"But yeah, he won't be up till then."

OOM: Another visit

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